I recently turned a certain age, thank God I’m a woman so I
do not have to tell you how ‘old’ I really am(I plead the whole a woman never
reveals her real age amendment, lol).I
had been dreading turning my age and it
seems I was within my reason for dreading it. No sooner had my birthday come; I
got a visit from my auntie. I’m sure you can imagine the conversation that we
had right?
Well let me tell you
a bit about myself to help you along then you will
definitely get the drift. I’m single (biggest hint), I work and in a profession
where it is perceived that if you a part of you are ‘loose’ and will never
settle down. Maybe because women in my profession are opinionated, work odd hours
travel a lot and generally are outspoken about any issue. I’m a Journalist (though still trying to find my
feet).I hang out quite a lot with those of the opposite sex though I have never
brought one of them to meet the aunties officially(they can never understand
that we are just friends,shamwari yechikomana??).Do not forget that I have
reached a certain age.
So you can imagine how worried the elders get when they see
that their daughter does not seem in any hurry to bring the son in law home in
other words they want the cows to come home. I can just imagine the
conversation that took place for them to finally send the aunties on me. I guess
parents finally get tired of hearing praises on how well their daughter is
doing at school, or how nice that their daughter is now working or she bought a
car and they just want us to get married. It almost seems like getting married
or at the very least having a grandchild for them even its out of wedlock is a
duty you have to perform to fully please your parents. Especially if the girl
from next door keeps popping them and she is younger than you.
But with the times we are living in the aunties have their
work cut out for them. I look back and it seems most of the girls, now women I
went to school with 85 percent of them are ‘living single’. Not saying they do
not date or anything but most are not yet married. Could it be that that sitcom
we used to watch spoiled us? Some would remember it, Living Single which
starred Queen Latifah? Girlfriends who lived together, working and having the
time of their lives?
We always wished that
when we grew up we would have that .We worked extra hard to have that life, the
cars, the job, the flat, the status of being an independent woman (well maybe
the full list is not there yet but we are on our way).Could it be that we have
become so set on getting the list that we forgot that “marriage” can be part of
that list so the aunties have to remind us? Could it be that the men themselves
are the ones who are now scared off by how we are perfectly able to take care
of ourselves? Could it be that instead of seeing the vulnerable people we still
are despite the veneer of power we shield around us, the men think that we can
do it all on our own? Or the men are just weaklings who cannot dare to be with
a woman who has great ambition? Or is marriage now completely off the plate?
That would really break the aunt’s’ heart to hear.
So the auntie comes with the ‘asi pane zvirikunetsa talk’ to
find out if I need help to find my other half. I ask her what prompted this
whole talk and among other things I find out that Mai Jenny from the
neighbourhood who always has something to say about everybody has been
whispering that ‘mwana anoda kubetserwa pamwe pane chivanhu chinoda
kugadziriswa’.
I could not help but laugh over this as we had dinner with
my girlfriends and it seems almost every one of us had suffered through the
auntie talk. What we concluded about this whole reaching my age thing and the
big auntie talk is exactly what I told my auntie. I am well aware of my age, I
know society’s’ perceptions about the right age to get married or have a child.
But above all I am aware that marriage is for forever and the sanctity God places
on that union. Therefore I will await patiently until I meet the man who
completes me.I will not marry to please society, my parents or because my
‘biological’ clock is catching up with me.I am happy to be working towards my
dream and in good time I shall be married and make you proud, more than you are
now!
